Funny Thanksgiving Wishes: Life can become more stressful and vapid when you are preparing for the thanksgiving festival in full swing. It definitely takes a toll on your physical and mental health when you prepare for a big festival like thanksgiving and there are not many helping hands around you. During a distressful situation, even a pinch of humor works as a fresh breath of air and recuperates you to the core. If you want your thanksgiving celebration to be full of energetic and peppy vibes, you must go through our compilation of funny thanksgiving quotes and hilarious thanksgiving wishes which will erupt the bubbles of laughter inside you. Moreover, you can also share these funny thanksgiving quotes and wishes with your kith and kin which will keep them busy laughing until the thanksgiving dinner is ready.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes 2022
Modern-day beings have no sense of celebrating thanksgiving. I like the old-fashioned way. Invite everyone, cook some damn fine turkey, and insult the hell out of everyone. Happy thanksgiving day fellas!
I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
On thanksgiving, if your calories intake is less than your blessings, you have insulted the sacrifice of so many valorous turkeys. Enjoy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
Maybe we all celebrate thanksgiving day just to make sure our planet doesn’t get overpopulated by turkeys and extra food materials?
Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line.
If you want to play the perfect role of Santa Claus on Christmas, thanksgiving dinner time is the best time to kickstart your missions. May you have an amusing thanksgiving celebration!
I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.
Your aim on thanksgiving day should be to get as stuffed as a cooked turkey so that no one doubts whether you celebrated the festival or not.
May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!
Love the way how a turkey is cooked; slow and how it is eaten; slow. Whole Thanksgiving spent eating turkey; slow!
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
All the delicacies you eat on the Thanksgiving day; just put all the jealousy out then it would be more delicious. Happy Thanksgiving!
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
This life is like gravy, not staying and always flowing. Happy Thanksgiving!
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
You don’t need to feel love from others while love yourself. Cook your own food! Happy Thanksgiving!
The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’
Before saying it is not tasty; you should know your own hands’ taste. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.
Funny Thanksgiving Sayings 2022
Thanksgiving is about expressing gratitude and serving the needy ones. But what if you are the needy one? Jokes apart, happy thanksgiving!
Tomorrow, I guarantee you we will be standing on the Olympic platform, receiving our gold medals for eating.
I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.
The meal is not over when I’m full. The meal is over when I hate myself.
Thanksgiving is stupid… you eat and you watch football. Let’s all take the day off work.
No matter how juicy thanksgiving turkey you make, there is always one person in the family who will find the fault in cooking but eat all of it. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.
Everybody bring a dish… folks, that means bring it made. Otherwise, you’re freaking everybody out.
On Thanksgiving, don’t fight about whether your glass of wine is half-full or half-empty. Be thankful that at least you have wine in it.
Who knew the pilgrims liked football so much? Love the pilgrims!
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.
After eating fresh cooked steamed turkey it is really hot inside. It is taking revenge making me run for miles! Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving comes to us out of the prehistoric dimness, universal to all ages and all faiths. At whatever straws we must grasp, there is always a time for gratitude and new beginnings.
I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults’ table. That’s ’cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.
You can tell a lot about a person by how early their neighbors call the cops on Thanksgiving.
Don’t know who blow the fire; just instantly everything has got cooked, even me. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is America’s favorite holiday because it’s a time when we put aside our cares, much as the struggling Pilgrims did nearly four centuries ago, and eat a gut-busting meal without worrying about the ‘out years.’
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes For A Smile
The only thing my family members agree about on thanksgiving is the size of the turkey. The bigger the turkey, the more we eat and sleep like a beer. Happy Thanksgiving to all my family members and friends!
It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.
Real ballplayers pass the stuffing by rolling it up in a ball and batting it across the table with a turkey leg.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Good mashed potato is one of the great luxuries of life.
My family and friends follow only three traditions on thanksgiving: eat like horses, drink like a drunkard, and shut the door when someone asks for help.
The turkey. The sweet potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything else we can all agree so vehemently about? I don’t think so.
Last Thanksgiving, I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?
Thanksgiving is the meal we aspire for other meals to resemble.
The fewer relatives you have at the dinner table on thanksgiving, the more blessings you can count easily. Have a memorable Thanksgiving celebration!
Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.
We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.
Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.
Just drink a peg of classic red wine and it melts you with smile warming from inside. Happy Thanksgiving!
My fondest memories are generally the day after Thanksgiving. I get the total decorating Christmas itch.
Even though we’re a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Turkey lurkey doo, and turkey lurkey dap. I eat that turkey, then I take a nap.
You don’t need to cut a turkey on the day of Thanksgiving. Seeing it running, it makes you smile! Happy Thanksgiving!
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.
Funny Happy Thanksgiving Wishes for Friends
Thanksgiving is perhaps one of the reasons why most of my friends and family members are suffering from obesity. They eat one month of food in one day alone. Happy Thanksgiving!
On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.
I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.
The biggest irony about the thanksgiving festival; you express gratitude by killing and eating an innocent bird.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.
Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe this was a sacred feast where gravy boats were worshipped.
I belong to a family where sweet mashed potato is considered as the most delectable sweet.
I wish you have a hundred reasons to thank god. Have a great Thanksgiving Day gentleman.
Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.
Thanksgiving is just the perfect precursor to Christmas. It sets the tone perfectly for the festive season to begin. Have a great and happy Thanksgiving Day.
May you have a belly, that how much you eat on the day of Thanksgiving you can’t tally! And on every day you throw us a party! Wishing happy Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is such a mood booster! After all who can be on a dull mood after they have had such a delicious meal and a super relaxing nap!
Coexistence: What the farmer does with the turkey—until Thanksgiving.
Have you ever observed the cyclical mystery in the two parts of thanksgiving? It’s all about the thanks and the giving after all! Have a great Thanksgiving Day ahead, enjoy to the fullest.
Life is a celebration, Only on Thanksgiving it is free. May the celebration always be! Happy Thanksgiving!
With people like you in my life, I have all the right reasons to thank my stars! Always be this way, you guys mean a lot to me. Happy Thanksgiving Day.
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
Funny Thanksgiving Messages for Family
If you have a grave fight with your loved ones, just offer them all the turkey and mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving and everything will be fine. Wish you all a frisky thanksgiving!
Mercy not, there aren’t any turkey that is too beautiful so that they can be left! Hunt and cook the sumptuous turkey. Happy Thanksgiving Day.
You know you have your life sorted when you wait for the thanksgiving turkey to arrive more than your friends and family members visit.
The only reason why I’m glad that Thanksgiving comes once in a year is that good thing should always be less or else we don’t value it! Glad that it’s here, Happy Thanksgiving to you and the entire family.
It’s all about caring and sharing and when thanksgiving day is here, I want to make sure that you know you are my reason to thank god forever. Happy Thanksgiving Day.
The saddest part of the thanksgiving celebration; when the lady you love doesn’t cook the thanksgiving turkey and order it from outside.
You are the reason why thanksgiving feels great. Not because you are a great friend but for the amazing dishes that you cook on the day. Hahaha! Awaiting your invitation and wishing you a very happy Thanksgiving Day.
Always trust a person who goes to the gym the next day after eating thanksgiving dinner like there will not be another thanksgiving.
Be kind with the forks as you delve into delicious Turkey! Have a great Thanksgiving and make sure you invite me to the feast buddy.
Most of my family members never get to know about other dishes on thanksgiving like Pumpkin, yam, cranberry pie, as they cannot go past over turkeys.
Though I’m far away from you now, I want to make sure that you feel the warmth of our relationship through this wish on the day of Thanksgiving. I thank you for all the love and support, have a great Thanksgiving Day.
You don’t need to be in full pants to do party on Thanksgiving. You can be in half also! Happy Thanksgiving!
Out of the many reasons that you have to be thankful, my friendship with you is certainly one! Many warm wishes to you on this Thanksgiving Day.
Life is meaningless until Thanksgiving comes. May every day be Thanksgiving! Wishing you happy Thanksgiving!
Having a meal on this day is of wholly another level and you know what?? I’m already on the thanksgiving level now! Let’s wait no more and delve into the delicacies. Happy Thanksgiving Day.
On the day of Thanksgiving, eat wisely and invite wisely. Enjoy with best friends! Happy Thanksgiving!
After such a sumptuous meal, the snooze fest is on I believe! Enjoy as you wish to on this Thanksgiving Day buddy.
Just don’t celebrate Thanksgiving as a house party! It is Thanksgiving; share on the day; for one day! Happy Thanksgiving!
One of the forbidden laws is that you should never start your diet on Thanksgiving Day! You definitely do not want to miss out on Turkey. Happy Thanksgiving Day.
People always take serious message; funny. That’s what they do on Thanksgiving! Wishing everyone Thanksgiving!
Funny Turkey Sayings & Quotes
Good mashed potato is one of the great luxuries of life.
In my family, those are considered as the most blessed who get to eat the entire turkey’s leg on thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the juicy turkey!
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.
I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.
The biggest turn-off on thanksgiving day is badly cooked turkey and not-so-old wine.
I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken.
It’s Thanksgiving, and we should not want to be together, together!
You can always find something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving day. Well, you can make a fresh start by counting the dinner turkey first.
I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.
A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense when you hear them consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping.
You know that just before the first Thanksgiving there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.
When you eat turkey, you run as faster as it! Happy Thanksgiving!
A lot of Thanksgiving Days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.
After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.
Be vegan on the day of Thanksgiving! Let the turkey live! Happy Thanksgiving!
You can’t have Thanksgiving without turkey. That’s like Fourth of July without apple pie or Friday with no two pizzas
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftover in aluminum foil and throw them out.